Xavier's hollow.

[Guest]

Xavier slid into a large hollow of a tree, and formed a fairly comfy nest with some of the leaves and old nesting material from other animals who had previously used this hollow as their home.

[Guest]

Xavier padded out slyly, his amber eyes flickering.

[Guest]

Later on, he returned to his hollow, the moon hanging in the sky.

[Guest]

"Mother.." the deep-toned, always depressed-seeming tom paced around his den. "Why did you make me do that to you..." he said, laying down and covering his head with his paws, his long, thin black nose glistening in the sun-light.

[Guest]

*Orange was padding past his Hollow when she heard him talking, and hesitated by it, wondering if she should visit* Hey, Xavier? Are you there?

[Guest]

He un-covered his paws from his eyes, and stood up. "H-Hey Orange." he meowed brokenly, his eyes flickering with many stale emotions.

[Guest]

Hey! *She cocked her head* What's wrong?

[Guest]

He straightened himself up, and meowed, again, brokenly. "Nothing.. I'm just mumbling, I guess.." he replied, loneliness and sadness dancing in his soft amber eyes.

[Guest]

*She frowned worriedly* Oh.. Well.. What's up?

[Guest]

"Nothing much.." he meowed coldly, lifting his head up to look her in the eye, to reveal many long, old, and deep claw-marks at his neck.

[Guest]

*She quickly stepped back, startled* Wh-What are those?

[Guest]

A cold, lonely, bitter, and depressing expression clouded his amber eyes. "My suicide attempts. None of them worked, unfortunatley, because I'm still here in this messed up place." he replied.

[Guest]

*She flattened her ears and padded towards him, running her nose along the scars* You tried to kill yourself?

[Guest]

Slate heard the conversation and padded over, her yellow eyes flickering," It won't get any better you know. Hurting yourself."

[Guest]

"Many, many times." he replied, in a tired of life sounding tone. "My mother would tell me how I would amount to nothing when I was older. So, I got fed up one day and slashed her throat. My sister.. Alyssa.. got mad at me for killing our mother.. we got in a fight, she broke my nose.. I broke hers, and then I ran off.. me and my family would get into physical fights every night.." he said. He then heard Slate. "It's not hurting myself. Is it hurting myself when it feels good? I'm numb, I'm dead inside." he meowed, loudly.

[Guest]

No.. Don't say that. *She stepped back, her ears still flat against her head* I don't want you to die. I don't want anyone to die.. I felt like this, before... When my mother died of Greencough. I thought about killing myself. But then I saw how worried my friends were. I'm worried about you, Xavier. Don't kill yourself.

[Guest]

He meowed hoarsely. "I felt this way my whole life.. alone, cold, numb.. there's no escape.." he said, his ears flattened slightly.

[Guest]

" But where will the pain take you? It may fill you up, but in the end it will leave letting you feel empty inside." she flicked her tail and turned for him to see her flank where scars and patches of missing fur were," I used to be a kittypet, but then my owners left me. Younger twolegs found me and tortured me. I was about to give up and die..." she stopped for a moment then continued," when another cat found me. He was older and wiser and healed my wounds. I never thought I deserved to live, but he gave me hope that I should keep on living." she turned back to face Xavier," Life is scary, but so is Death."

[Guest]

*She nodded slightly, Her words cheering her up* She's right. Death is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You're young. Life can still change.

[Guest]

"I already feel empty inside. I don't deserve to live. My mother was right." he replied. "Life isn't scary, for me, it's constant torture, my thoughts, my past plays in my head and won't leave me alone. The only escape is death. Death, is a sweet escape." he meowed emptily, his eyes cold.

[Guest]

*She shook her head, beginning to become frustrated* But death is just the easy way out. If you kill yourself, you'll never have the chance to live a better life, without your mother and your sister.

[Guest]

" That was the past. Your mother is gone. She can't hurt you, only in your memories. You have to let go Xavier." Slate stared at the tom furiously.

[Guest]

"It's just the way I feel, okay?" he retorted at Orange.

"I can't let go. I'm sick, sick in the head. I enjoyed inflicting pain upon my family and myself. A few days ago... I suffocated a tom... I watched the life trickle out of him, as it has already done so much for me." he meowed sadly, revealing another side of him.

[Guest]

Slate unsheathed her claws, letting them dig into the earth," You only have one life Xavier. Be careful what you do with it." she got up and turned around to leave.

[Guest]

He watched her leave.

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